Oh. My. Word.

"Oh, My Word" is the only way I can describe how our life has changed this year. 

I don't know if I have mentioned this in any of my previous posts, so forgive me if I am being redundant.  But, last year for school (and for most days of all of our homeschooling history), we spent most of our days at home.  We would school in the mornings until lunch.  Eat lunch together, sometimes me reading aloud to the kids.  After lunch we would all take a reading break.  The afternoon was spent catching up on any "homework", running errands, spending a bit doing a few household chores. 

This year, each day, but Friday, we are out and about.  Multiple times.  Each day.  Monday, back and forth with two ballet lessons.  At different times.  Tues, classes and Bible Study.  Wed, classes.  Thur, art and class for Katie.  Being out and about more often, of course brings more "quick" trips to various places.  You know what I mean, "Oh, I need "such and such".  While I am right here, why don't I run in 'real quick".  I have done okay on sticking to what I need, and mostly the real quick part.  It is the quantity part that is killing me. 

Anyway, all of this has thrown me for a loop.  I realize that we are entering a new stage of life.  And I don't like it.  I want my old days back.  They were pleasant, not chaotic.  The house was fairly clean, not a pit.  The van got better gas mileage, now I idle.  Sigh.  I miss it.  I feel like a part of me has died.  I know.  That sounds silly.  But it is a giving up of what once was, knowing that I probably won't get it back.  Kids get older.  Sigh. (I am certainly being unusually sentimental.  I am tired.)

I can't say that it is all bad, what we are doing.  The kids needed something different this year.  So it is in their best interest.  It is hard for me to remember the boredom that they experienced.  Not too terribly hard to remember the power struggles that came with me teaching them, and all of us frustrated and in tears. The times I struggled to make sure I was teaching them enough, but realizing I was stinking at what I was teaching them.  We needed a change this year, but change can also be uncomfortable.  It makes us grow in ways we wish we didn't have to.

And here I thought that this year would be a great year to begin blogging.  I used to have time.  I now have more crumbs under my table, horrible gas mileage, a to-do list that only gets longer each day, and children, of whom two, this year, are learning more than I am able to teach them and one that I am getting extra time with that I didn't have last year.

And for that it is all okay.